The bathrooms in the house are the original now 80 year old bathrooms. They have had no updating of any significance. The time has come to send them to the great bathroom in the sky. However, they are not going to go quietly. Rather what we have is a death match and these bathrooms are conspiring to kill the bather. We, the residents are, winning by only the narrowest of margins.
The Third Floor. Our intention is that it will be a Guest Room, Hall Bath and the Lord of the Manors Office. Presently, its use is more Bates Motel the Ritz.
The entire level can be closed off at the bottom of the stairs. Child #2 has done just that with her grandmother on the wrong side. No, mother we cannot hear you scream.
We are lucky to have fully functioning original doors, hardware and keys. The keys were subsequently all removed from the doors and in haste left unmarked. 80 years the keys were in their proper doors and in 5 minutes we blow it.
Not that being confined is good but in theory it should not be so bad. The space is bright, quiet, internet is available and in the bathroom the floors pitch is pretty significant time it right you could be in here when if just drops you to the floor below.
A shower can be had if you stand with our arms at your side and spin. I wouldn't recommend a bath. But should you choose look at the time you could save blow-drying your hair while still sudsing up. Note the proximity of the wall outlet to the tub 1". In the image the outlet has been changed but prior to this it was an ungrounded not damp rated socket. It still makes me nervous just looking at it. Water and Electricity DO NOT MIX.
The Children's Bathroom has fallen to second place in the "What the ?" department. I said their were no significant updates. Not no updates. Not good updates.
One can't actually shower in here with out flooding the room or standing up straight. The blue tape was helping me with layout.
The showerhead was a later addition to the tub and illustrates why professionals are a necessity. An architect would have told you, " this won't work". An architect or reputable builder would have also pointed out the wall socket in the shower was not a good idea nor is the second socket only 18" away. The outlet in the shower has been removed and the too close outlet changed to damp rated only since we came on the scene.
The Third Floor and Children's Baths will make it look like an unfortunate accident.
The "Master Bath" on the other hand played it cool. Sure, it is ugly but it works. Flocked wallpaper, peeling paint, fluorescent tube lights, the toddler toilet. Yes, should you be knee walking drunk or in Pre-K we have thecommode for you.
Then BAM! CRASH and a scream. At the end of the day, I am not sensitive to soap in the eyes or children's petty squabbles that result in screaming which I can't hear anyway. However, something really heavy hitting a cast iron tub makes a racket.
The tiled soap holder came falling out of the wall narrowly missing child #1's foot. Child #1 is soapy, terrified and trying to get away from falling debris.
Child #1 calmed and everyone in their jammies we gather to investigate. I struggle to adaquetly describe what we found. We knew something happened because the black tile is running into the original pink tile. A leak, broken tiles we knew it was something. ANOTHER failed attempt to add a shower head where it should not be. Or at least try in the dumbest shoddiest way possible.
Two layers of regular old sheet rock were caulked on top of the original pink tile to build the walls up to accommodate a standard size shower door. The original pink soap holder had been backed out of the wall, the hole filled with foam caulk and the black soap holder essentially glued in. Who does this? What planet is that an idea much less an acceptable one? How is this NOT going to fail? Is it hubris, stupidity I just don't know. No do I know who did it because now I am absolutely desperate to understand the brain trust that got this together. The grout on the tile was failing and the sheet rock absorbing the water like a sponge. One can put there hand thru the hole to the hall closet and one can get their hands behind the black tile and it lifts right off in a sheet.
We were lucky that the collateral damage to the house was not great and we will manage to pick up a few inches in the renovated space. In the mean time to stem the flow of water time I have sat on the floor employing quantities of silicone caulk silicone caulk, has been covered in plumbing tape with a few layers of plastic sheeting on top for extra water tightness. We look like squatters. You may be asking what not have the tile guy just caulk it until the demo starts? I asked no one will touch it. Because the black tile is not actually attached the new caulk wont do anything. Imagine trying to tile a waterbed. I do get some satisfaction in the response from men who have been at proper home improvements this for a while "never saw this before".
But wait... There's more.
The creepy shower stall. Yes, just a shower Jack and Jill style between two bedrooms.
It is creepy, it leaked into the Living Room, it has 7 yes 7 shower heads and came with its own vintage bar of Irish Spring soap.
When you hot bottom only one way to go and in this case it is DEMO!!!